Well today was not exactly an all consuming quest for self on my 40 day journey. Which, after further reflection is starting to sound super narcissistic - I have a horrible fear of being narcissistic. Anyway, today was a sleepy, slow Saturday. No sun in the sky, freezing rain, laundry, practicing for Kolbe's 1st confession tomorrow, that sort of thing. My darling husband decided that he would make both cheese cake and some sort of candy/fudge/nut/mess on this, my very first sugar free day. I am happy to announce that I did not partake of the cheese cake or the candy/fudge/nut/mess. I was strong - I held out! Which for some reason totally wasn't hard so I don't really deserve any credit for holding out. The candy stuff looked pretty gross (sorry Honey!), and for some reason, the cheese cake, which I normally LOVE, just didn't even appeal to me. Perhaps it was knowing that if I did eat some, I would have to fess up to all (both?) of you who read this little snippet of internet. I wouldn't want to cave on the very first day, anyway. That would mean I have no will power at all.
Now, as I sit here in my pj's, I have to decide what my next goals should be. I had this picture in my head, of this 40 year old I want to be, and I realize it's a compilation of so many women I have loved. My mom - I want to be as feisty as she is, always charging into whatever comes next. My Grandma Karcher - she was always doing for others. My Nain - I don't know too many braver women. My cousin Suzy - strong, funny, happy and LOVING. And my sisters; Dana, Stacy and Amy - these girls link me to myself, keep me grounded and know me. They are my fortress in any storm. So, you see these women? I want to be just like them when I grow up.
|My Mom with Meg|
|This is the best I have digitally of my Grandma|
|Sisters: Stacy, Amy and Dana (sorry girls, it's hard to find un-preggo pics!)|
My Goal for Day 5? Tomorrow is going to be a super busy day. The kind of day where I want everything perfect, and I tend to flip out if it's not. PSR, then Mass, then Kolbe's 1st Confession and dinner, and then a mini-Super Bowl party. My goal for the day? To not flip out over matching socks, coordinating outfits for the little boys, or any one's lack of the dress clothes for Mass. If I manage to not flip out over any of these things, and some I have not thought of yet, then I will have accomplished my goal to just "go with the flow" tomorrow. It's really hard for me, so say a prayer, please!