Saturday, January 26, 2013

Thoughts on Feminism...

I posted something about Roe V. Wade on Facebook the other day (because that never happens) and had a comment from someone that basically said "You asked for all this, be careful what you wish for." I responded that I hadn't wished for any of this.  That response got me thinking, though. What do I really feel about feminism? I know that I feel it got twisted and misunderstood. I know that it was used as a propaganda machine of radical "feminists" who pushed for things that most women never wanted. But, had I been born just a few years earlier, what would I have wanted out of the feminist movement? What would it have meant to me, as a woman, as a mother?

I think that feminism began with all the right intentions. Women are human beings  - equal to man in intellect, importance and worth. We have a right to certain things, voting, owning property, to not be regarded as property. I think if a woman is doing the same job as a man, in most cases she should make the same money. That is, if she is willing to work as hard as a man is willing to work.

Where I think feminism went all wrong was the sexual revolution. Making sex outside of marriage common place and celebrated diminished sex. It took the reverence away from the act. Add in the birth control pill, and now men are free to use women without consequence, and they have convinced women that that is a good thing. Add abortion into it, and not only do you have sex without children, but you have torn away from women what it IS to be a woman. To encourage, force, enable a woman to kill her own child? It is the same as ripping out her heart. Yet we as a society have done this so much that many women have turned their motherly instincts off. They have walled off their hearts to the truth that they hold deep down inside.

I think women actually hold a very special place in humanity, as do men. Women are by nature care givers, nurturers. Men are by nature  providers. We both have biological drives. To deny these biological drives is to diminish our very nature. Why shouldn't we embrace the gifts God has given us, so that we each perform our rolls to the best of our abilities? Now, I know that some men are better nurturers, and some women are career driven. Fine.. I actually happen to be married to a very nurturing man. And, I happen to like bringing in some of the money our family needs. However, I know for certain that my husband would never be happy being the sole care giver  - he needs to work, he needs to be the provider. Quite honestly, I just wouldn't look at him quite the same way if he wanted to stay home all day and I am sure he wouldn't quite know what to make of me if I suddenly decided I didn't want to stay with the kids and rock the babies and nurse and bake and all the other things mothers do.

I am just trying to say that men and women are different. Very, very different. The last 40 or so years of everyone trying to deny that are just ridiculous. Why aren't these differences celebrated? I am honored to have a gentlemanly husband who shovels walks for me, opens doors for me, carries heavy things for me (and ensures that our boys do these things) makes sure my car is gassed up and running properly. I am honored that he thinks I need to be taken care of in these ways. Women are special. We hold a special place in society. We are the gentler sex, and that's not a bad thing! I hope I am raising sons who think women are special. Who respect the intelligence of their mother, sisters and someday wives. Who know that women are worthy of their protection. Men who will defend their women under any circumstances. Men who appreciate all the gifts a woman will grace them with if they are treated properly and given the respect and admiration they deserve.

So what do I want from feminism? I want the world to acknowledge that women are good. We are special. We are intelligent creatures worthy of respect. We need the protection of men and know it. We appreciate it when we receive it, and remember it when we do not. We have soft hearts...the softest place reserved for the man who loves us, and for the children who come from that love.

I have a few words to say about the role of men in society - but I will save that for the next post...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

40 Years of Roe...

I was up late the other night, nursing and rocking Miss Priscilla and flipping channels. I landed on some show that followed two women through pregnancy as they made adoption plans for their babies. I thought "Wow! These ladies are having their babies, choosing to give birth to them and place them with loving families." So, I watched.

The first mother was a young lady of 21. She had gotten pregnant with an ex-boyfriend who wanted to keep the baby, but she felt she wasn't ready to parent and talked him into giving the baby up for adoption.

The second mother was a 29 year old mother with a 4 year old son. She went through a bad break up, slept with a friend and became pregnant. She went right away for an abortion, but couldn't get one due to a shot she refused to have. She tried to "get rid" of her baby with herbal remedies, but the baby just "stuck". She then found out they were twins. She was rather put out at having to carry twins, but made an adoption plan for them  - most of her plan seemed to be about her needs rather than her twins, and when the time came, she almost cheerfully handed them over. The other young mother chose at the last minute to parent her baby daughter.

The show pointed out a mind set that is boggling to me, and no doubt a product of a society that has been killing it's own children for 40 years now. Over 55 million children have been murdered through abortion in this country. FIFTY FIVE MILLION! How have we fallen so far that so many people feel that it is perfectly acceptable, even good and right, to kill an unborn baby?! How did we get here, after our fore fathers fought for freedom for England and our ancestors fought for freedom from slavery, and even the women in this country fought for freedom to vote and own property. After all that fighting, how is it possible that we can look at innocent children and take away their rights, freedom and lives? We have worked so hard to ensure that so many are free and have rights, yet we destroy the most innocent among us?

I have often begged for understanding with this. Abortion is not something I can wrap my head around. I have compassion for the women who feel trapped, who don't have anyone to lean on. I really do. I WANT to be the person they lean on! What I don't understand, and never will, is the militant way so many defend abortion. They are so fast to call the baby - who by the way - has been proven scientifically, not religiously, to be an actual human being from the moment of conception - a tumor that needs to be removed, or a growth, or something less than human. Why do they turn a blind eye, self rightiously, to the fact that a woman doesn't just become pregnant through some mysterious source? A baby does not appear as a cancer, she must act, make a choice for that child to come into being. Why do they seem to forget this? You are pro-choice? Good - I encourage you to make the choice NOT to have sex and therefore not become pregnant. Oh, I forgot, they are not calling it "pro-choice" anymore. I forget why - not a strong enough message or something.

My point with all of this was to demonstrate what 40 years of Roe v. Wade has done to our nation. Our society used to treasure children. We knew how precious they are. Now, children are regularly veiwed as a burden. Babies are gifts, people. The best, most wonderous gift. Please, open your hearts to them. Love the ones Our Lord chooses to bless you with, however they come to you. Encourage your own children and the ones you have influence with to love children, to protect them, to find delight in them.

I pray that one day soon, we will all be celebrating when this country finally recognizes the travesty that has been occurring for the last 40 years and puts an end to it. Pray this is the last anniversary Roe ever sees.

And finally, if you are experiencing a crisis pregnancy - reach out to me, I can help. Or a pregnancy center, or your church. Just ask for help. There are so very many people waiting to help you - no matter if you want to raise your baby, or place your baby for adoption. You are not trapped, you are not alone, you and your child, are loved not just by God, but by many.

"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish." - Blessed Teresa of Calcutta