Trying To Get Back To This Place...

Peegers aka Princess Leia and her Da...

I think about this little blog all the time. I miss it so much...posts flit in and out of my brain all the time. I never have hands free to jot them down, or I am in the middle of school, or work, or nursing or cooking...but I miss it.

I recently decided to post to Facebook something I am thankful for every day this month, which has of course jogged my brain even more.



  I know I have said it before, and I have wanted to get back to this before, but I am really hoping I can do it...my days are so short and my to-do lists so long...I wouldn't trade any of the things on my to-do list though. Well, maybe the laundry. And teaching kids to read. I am HORRIBLE at teaching kids to read. My brain can't understand why their little brains don't already know how to do it...I lose patience. Anyway...

One of the things I spend so much time on these days is soaking, absorbing and just relishing my sweet baby. I always, always soak up my babies. It is an intentional thing for me. I will never be one to wish away babyhood for sleep's sake or for less work or trouble.  I don't want to miss anything, so I hold, I rock, I nurse. With Miss Priscilla Grace I have been even more aware that this could possibly be the last baby I ever have, so that kiss spot under her chin gets lots of kisses. I take time to kiss that sweet face and breathe in her sweet baby breath. She is so full of spunk and sass, but is so lovey and sweet. She especially loves hugging her brothers. She wraps those little arms around their necks and pats them on the back or head...she is full of love and ready to dole it out to anyone who smiles her way. I am loving every. single. second.

Another is my Yeb. He is such a little weirdo. He had a pretty severe regression after Priscilla was born. He really didn't talk much, and when he did it was total baby talk. He cried a lot and general wanted to be treated like a baby... to the point where we were considering having him tested. I mean, it was BAD. It took most of a year to get him to a point with lots of love and attention and a pretty strict insistence that he act his age to get him turned around. This of course, happened right after I filmed a segment for Dr. Ray's show about how I have never seen an older sibling actually regress after the birth of a new baby. As far as I know that segment never aired - THANK GOD!
While the regression isn't as bad anymore, he's still pretty weird. He has a foot fetish, probably born of the fuss I make over his still cute feet. If you come over, don't take your shoes off, or you will have a Yeb trying to give you a foot massage, or just trying to cuddle them. When he's not cuddling feet or pretending to be a Jedi, or showing you his "sweet dance moves", he is almost normal, at least, for one of our kids.

With these two rather high maintenance characters, plus another half dozen or so, time has been in limited quantities for me lately. There is never enough time for anything, but honestly, I feel like we are doing the most important things; hugging babies, playing with kids, reading stories, doing school, making meals, and basically being together. So what if clean underwear is hard to come by and the upstairs bathroom still needs to be painted 6 months after the remodel?

We'll get there, eventually. In the meantime, you can find me sitting with my baby, holding her while she sleeps, nursing and admiring the length of her lashes and the slope of her nose.

Because I am lazy, but would like to share so pics of all the people who like, still live here and stuff...


Fall Fun...Yes, The Force is strong with us...and whatever... I love every second of these wackos, too.

 

Summer is NOT Over!...

Ahhh, here in Ohio the weather this summer has been weird. We have had exactly one week of hot weather, a lot of rainy and cool weather, and some pleasant days. It has now been cooler for a while and people are starting to act and dress like summer is over. PEOPLE! There is still plenty of summer left! Put down the school supplies and back away...I just can't face school supplies just yet, not when there is so much summer left!

This week is one of our area's best weeks all summer - probably all year, actually. Hall of Fame week is loved by almost all Cantonians, as well as those from surrounding towns and cities. It starts off with fireworks, a hot air balloon fest, fashion shows, luncheons, and goes straight on through the Grand Parade, Induction and the Hall of Fame Game. It really is so much fun. My favorite part is the Grand Parade, so many inductees come back year after year. Everyone loads up on coffee and donuts and grabs their spot on the route. It is pure summer time fun, folks.

We also want to try and hit an amusement park this summer. We are thinking Kennywood - it is only about an hour from our house and has lots of rides for big and little kids. Should be fun.

We also have a flurry of end of summer birthdays around here, starting with my Jonah turning FIFTEEN. I honestly can't believe it. He recently spent an entire evening talking to a girl. A girl who is not a sister, nor a best friend of a sister, or a cousin. First time ever. So weird, I guess that he is that old, but he is very shy. Every time I ask about her, he gives me that shy-smiling grin of his. I think he might have thought she was pretty cute. I have asked him what he wants for his birthday, and he always replies "cash". Gone are the days of begging for the newest Lego, I guess. He is saving up for some new gaming system.

Then comes my Jenna's 13th birthday. We had a big, all girl surprise party for Kenzie's 13th, but Jenna has asked for a special photo session with her cousin who is the same age. We are going shopping for coordinating outfits, and they  have the session planned out on Pinterest. I hope they have a lot of fun! Such as sweet and special way to mark their 13th year as best friends and cousins.

In September my Sweet Priscilla Grace (who is now known as any of the following: PG, Peegers, Rissa, Cilla, Gracie, Gracie-Pants or Grace-Face - depending on who is talking to her) has her very first birthday. We have a sweet birthday party planned, with all our family and friends. I know she won't remember it, but I sure am having fun planning it! My sister is helping me make invitations and decorations, and it is going to be so sweet and fun. I can't wait! Although, I am not so anxious for her to not be my little baby anymore.





See, there is tons of summer left. We even still have swimming lessons left to attend! Is there anything better than sitting by the pool for 45 almost entirely uninterrupted minutes while you watch your littles learn to swim? Not in my book. C'mon summer! We are still here soaking up every minute!

On Being a Teenager...

My kids are growing up. I will soon have THREE teenagers in this house. One just got her drivers learning permit. One is now heading out on his own to visit friends across town, riding his bike and making new friends of both male and female variety. And the last one? She has been my baby girl for so many years. The fact that she is turning 13 at the end of the summer is mindboggling.

We've been down this road before, we have two grown daughters. We were so blessed that they were and continue to be "good" girls. They have lovely, wonderful friends, have made excellent choices for their lives.

Last summer one of my daughter's best friends from high school was found dead of a heroin overdose. I still think about it all the time. I didn't know her particularly well, she was a "school" friend...she and my daughter we close, doing plays, musicals and choir together, and making crazy plans to move to New York to become big stars. But her death haunts me. I am not sure why, except that it hit so close to home. She had a tiny son. That little boy now has to grow up without his mama, and for what? For drugs? I don't understand why so many young, talented, beautiful, smart kids with their entire lives in front of them get involved with this evil, life stealing poison.

How do we keep kids off drugs? The 1980s question still has yet to be answered. It seems to be almost unanswerable, as kids from every walk of life seem to get involved. What have we done right with our first two? I am not sure we could even tell you. We talk about it. A lot, actually. I think my kids have seen my heartbreak for other mothers over the loss of their children to drugs. They have heard me refer to it as poison. And I think they have seen a lot first hand.

When I sent my daughter, Meg, back to high school her freshman year, the very first day of school a boy just a year older offered her drugs. She came home crying. I felt like I had offered her to a pack of wolves. But she went back. She spoke up against drugs and alcohol, for religion, for life, on so many occasions that she didn't have a lot of friends. But, her last year in high school? One of the boys who was mean to her for her outspokenness came back to tell her that even when he was fighting her, he was listening. Because of her words, he thought. And then he quit doing drugs and drinking alcohol.

My Kenzie and I used to love GLEE. It's gotten weird, but we were still keeping up with it because of the old characters. If you watch TV at all, you know that Cory Monteith, who played Finn died of a drug overdose recently at the age of 31. He was a beautiful, talented young man. He spent all of his life from the age of 13 battling his addiction to drugs. Such a waste of life. It's heartbreaking, and yet we see it everywhere.

As my Jenna approaches her 13th birthday, and my other teens are beginning to stretch their wings a bit, I have been thinking about the things we did to educate their big sisters about drugs. The kids know that drugs are poison. They know they kill. And yet, so many try it anyway. Why do they do that? As homeschoolers, we are somewhat insulated against the random school drug dealer, but we can't keep them in the house forever. They have to know how to say no. They have to be equipped with the knowledge that the stuff is poison, and the strength to defy anyone who would offer it to them. How do you do that? How do you give that to them?

As I wonder about all this, and try to figure out how to arm my kids against all these evils, I pray for the soul of the girl who was my daughter's friend, for her little boy, growing up without his mama, and for all the people who get involved with drugs - that they have the strength and knowledge to stay far away from all of it, and to help their friends stay away.


 

Falling in love....

I have always had a romantic heart. Probably so much reading, and old movie watching as a kid, combined with the fact that I am a complete and total sap. I love everything about falling in love, weddings, babies, children, grandchildren...all of it...it's just good stuff. The mushier, the better, I always say (and get picked on for it). Honestly, if I could spend the majority of my time doing anything, it would be helping other people get that  - the love, the wedding, the babies. As it is I spend a goodly amount of time praying for people to fall in love, or get that baby or whatever it is that they truly want in their lives.

I want that for my kids. I want them to grow up and fall really and truly in love - whether it be with a spouse or a vocation or both. I want my daughters to grow up and get knocked off their feet by some fine, young man whose life's goal is to be a partner to her, and help her and their children get to heaven. I want them to be swept off their feet. I don't want them to settle for anything less.

I know I have told the story about how Doug and I fell in love, and I know my children know it, but I don't know if they have any idea what was truly in my heart at the time, or now. When Doug and I first met, we were a broken hearted pair. We had both been betrayed in a fairly heartless manner, him more so than me; but God had bigger and better plans for both of our hearts. I just know that everything happens for a reason, according to His plan...

....for instance, when I was married the first time, there was no time to be married in the Church. This was God's providence. He knew this was not the man for me, and so the sacrament was not received.
When Douglas got married the first time, it was in A church, but not the Catholic Church, and with the agreement that should things ever get messy, they would just get divorced before it got ugly (which automatically invalidates a marriage in the Catholic Church). Not his idea, but he went along with it, thinking it was a strange thing to say before getting married.  Probably should have been a red flag, but he was very young, and honestly, didn't want to heed any red flags, though they were numerous.

We both went on to have daughters, they were born just 7 months apart, in fact. And we were both separated by the time our daughters were 2 years old, or there abouts. This gave the two of us something in common - other than these life experiences we really didn't have anything in common, and might never have crossed paths if not for those little girls. God is very mysterious in His planning, indeed.

When we did meet, it was not quite love at first sight, more like extreme interest. By the second time we met, we had been talking non-stop on the phone for a while...one of those conversations was probably the moment I started falling for him, big time. He was sewing Elizabeth's pants...he knew they needed sewing and just did it...I found that to be amazing, after the non interested, wanted to give my daughter up for adoption fiasco of an ex-husband.

When we did fall in love, it was an all-consuming, mind bending, heart full, walking on clouds kind of love. I swear, honestly and truly, I felt like the only person on earth who had ever felt this way. I couldn't imagine other people in love just going about their day as if nothing was different, so they must not really be in love, they just thought they were. So after running around, grinning like idiots for a few months, and running up enormous phone bills (we were long distance at the time), we got engaged. And then a few months after that, married.

We have had so many ups, and some pretty serious downs. Some babies with health issues, the losses of 6 of our sweet babies, and the struggles that come with being a blended family, but all of these things simply brought us closer. We are the very best of friends. We are lovers in every sense of the word. When something happens, he is the first thought in my head. He is the first thought in my head when nothing happens. He was the only person who could reach me through my grief when we lost our little twins, and he is the person who made me see that God was there with me all along...he insisted that I see Him, that I know God was there. I want this kind of love for all of my kids. I don't want them to settle. I want them to find that one person who God has planned for them. I really hope they can be patient and not have too much heartbreak in order to find that person. I hope they have learned from us how to love a husband or wife without ceasing, how to stick it out through think and thin, and how to just be so comfortable with that person that the absence of him or her makes you uncomfortable.

 I wish all of these things for you, my children. And even with all of that, I wish for you the wisdom of knowing that as much as you love your husband or wife, they can never be that fairy tale love...that all consuming love for which so many people search. The only place that all consuming, completely unconditional love can be found is in the arms of our Lord. Don't expect a husband or wife to have the capacity to love like that, the way we humans seem to crave. Only Christ can love like that...so have big expectations, and fall in love - hard. But please, fall in love with someone who wants to help you get to heaven, so you can rest together in the love of the Lord someday.

I Miss This...

Gosh, I miss this blog. I haven't abandoned it on purpose, it just sort of happened. That whole pregnant/newborn/infant/baby after 40 thing really kicked my butt.

So, what have ya'll been up to? We have been doing the same things we always do, plus one. Our baby, Priscilla Grace is closing in on 10 months old. It went so, so fast, as it always does.


We've been busy - swimming as much as possible, running around for different summer time events. Same as you and yours, I am sure.

I feel like I have so much to say, I don't know where to start....but things that have been circling in my mind that I would have normally blogged about:

• Yeb seems to be experiencing a severe bout of reverting to babyhood since Priscilla was born
• We switched schools....again....
• Kenzie is auditioning for a local production of Annie
• The big boys have been sleeping in a tent every night for a couple of weeks now
• Jenna is turning 13 at the end of the summer, and then Priscilla Grace will turn ONE! 
• Jonah is suddenly becoming so much more grown up
• Summer is flying by way too fast

I miss this place so much, I am trying to get back into the swing of life with a baby, and hopefully will be popping on here more often...just to get the circling thoughts out of my brain, because I am pretty sure I don't have any readers left....

See ya'll soon!

Money, Frugality, Humility and Lessons I Still Haven't Learned....

 On Being Catholic and an American...

We've been dreaming of a new, bigger house, and then getting smacked down with so many left over medical bills that our credit will not allow for a new house, even though our current home's value is finally starting to climb again due to all the oil and fracking folks buying up everything in our county.

This of course, has led me to whine and complain and generally be ungrateful for all that we have. mean, with this many kids, we should have a bigger house, right?! And we totally need more bathrooms, right? And we need a bigger yard, right? None of that will help my kids get to heaven, though some of it may save my sanity.  We have a sweet little home that has housed us all just fine for over ten years. It will continue to suffice as long as we need it to so I need to just get over it, already. The fact that is known in the neighborhood as "the house with all the kids" is just a testament to how well this little house can hold a dozen or so people.  The furniture in this little house looks like we bought it at a garage sale and then tried to raise 10 kids on it...and well, it's just embarrassing. Another lesson in humility. No one ever went to heaven because they had nice furniture.

We used to be broke, like, the poor kind of broke. Now, I am not sure what we are, but it isn't poor. We make plenty of money, I just can't seem to ever carve out enough to make ends meet. And yes, I know what you are going to say - we have a lot of mouths to feed. Yes, that's it, but it is not the whole story. At some point, post-poor but never solvent, I decided that certain things were allowed. Like, mega-expensive toothpaste, just because the dentist said so. Dove soap, because so many of us have that horrible dry skin that turns into a rash if you use anything else. And buying actual baby wipes, instead of making my own as I had always done. And not really bothering with resale shops and just going whole-hog Baby Gap and Gymboree. Now, I only ever buy sale items, but still.

And of course, groceries. We used to shop mainly at Aldi and other less expensive stores. Now, we rarely take the time to do that, and when we do, we wonder why we don't do it all the time.

So, my checkbook this week? Well, I have a tendency to think that ya know, $1000 is actually $1,000,000, so you can imagine what happened there...and no, it wasn't on shopping or anything like that. I tend to get overzealous, pay a whole bunch of stuff, and then leave us nothing to work with as far as gas and groceries go. Soooo, ya know what I do? I will go shopping for groceries on Thursday, knowing that we get paid on Friday, so I am actually spending the next paycheck before we even get it. Super smart, right? And forget coupons. Who has time to clip coupons? Certainly not I. I must spend that time doing just about anything else you can think of, because unless it basically just falls into my lap, I don't do coupons. I want to... but, seriously, don't even know where to start or how to fit that into my schedule.

So the first thing I need to get over is this pride thing. You know, if you take this many kids out in public, they better look great, or you are going to get looks...you know, the looks that say, "Wow, you have too many kids, you obviously can't even afford to dress them!" I need to remember how cute my kids always looked even when I was only getting them what they needed, as opposed to what I wanted them to have, or even a particular daughter's case, what they are bugging to buy, find or order. And that they don't have to look cute to get into heaven...

And I have to really plan our meals. My current favorite meal plan is me wandering into the kitchen whenever the kids start begging for food and rummaging around until I come up with something - usually something really simple. If I planned out our meals, I would probably save money on groceries - at least, that's what I hear. We don't buy chips, or junk food or anything - ya know, extra. But I am no where near as careful with our grocery dollars as I should be, especially since during weeks like this, there aren't any.

And the diapers - oh jeeze. I really like the soft, pretty diapers. I honestly believe my baby's bottom deserves the softest, comfiest diapers - if you had to sit in a diaper all day, you would want it to be comfy, right? BUT, I could probably switch her over to something a little less pricey...right?

As far as electric goes - this is a HUGE part of what is wrong in our world. My kids just won't turn lights out...even the 23 year old leaves her lights on all the time. It drives me crazy, chasing around turning stuff off all the time. I mean, what the heck? How hard is it to flip the switch, people? We are always getting those comparisons from the electric company, telling us we use way more power than anyone else.

So, yes, my old frugal self was really a better self. I gave more away, I made more meals for people, I somehow found a way. I was  used to doing better with less. I know I can find ways to be more frugal, to make the money we have go a little farther, so we can breathe a little easier as well as doing more for others. I need to let go of the pride thing...and that is tough for me. My kids are homeschooled, but I don't want them to look the part, if you know what I mean. I want them to be able to bring friends in the house without being embarrassed by the horrible carpets, the falling apart couches, and the garage sale recliner. Where do you draw the line between frugality and just having some pride in your home?



Suggestions welcome.

I've Moved....

But I don't know how to work anything yet over there! And I don't have time to figure it out...
Ahhh! But, since I have moved, I thought I would give anyone still lurking around here my new address, my very own "dotcom". Who'da thought I would ever have my very own url? I certainly never thought I would bother. Turns out, my brother bothered for me, registering www.truedaughterofmary.com without ever telling me, in case I ever decided I wanted it. Sooo, I decided I might as well use it, right? So, from now on, or whenever I get my blog blogging again, I can be found over there. Over where?

Oh yeah... www.truedaughterofmary.com - that's where!

Papa Ben...

I am a great lover of this Pope, Pope Benedict XVI. I think he is a truly holy man who has done great things for the church, both before and during his papacy. I had a friend on facebook who is not Catholic ask me what Catholics are really thinking and feeling about Pope Benedict. I thought I would post my reply and ask the people who read me regularly to post their thoughts as well, since I think many of them are Catholic as well. So, here goes:


Hi Steve,
I LOVE when people ask questions! Honestly, I have heard a little of what the media is saying, but mostly ignoring. The pope is simply stepping down because he is old. When he was about to be elected pope, he told everyone he prayed that this passed him by because he was already 78. No longer is the pope's role to just sit and study and pray, as it used to be. He must now travel the globe, do many strenuous Masses, and sit on many meetings, write continuously, make clear, concise decisions. He must oversee the Vatican, which is a small country unto itself.
It used to be that the body died before the mind was lost, for the most part. Now, modern medicine keeps the body alive far longer. The pope wrote about this before and during his papacy. He always has strongly felt that a pope must step down if he feels he is no longer able to serve properly. If he feels somehow incapacitated, either physically or mentally. In his last several trips he has stopped to pray for guidance at the tombs of some significant people in the church. One was the tomb of the last pope who stepped down, 600 years ago. The pope has always had the right to step down when he feels it is the best decision, though it has rarely been exercised.
I hope this answered your question. I have actually read some of his writings from when he was just Cardinal Ratzinger. He really is a good and gentle, holy man. I think he is right in stepping down, and I hope and pray he is allowed to spend his remaining days in peace. He loves Christ and His Holy Church, and I truly believe he is only doing what he thinks is right. He is only human, after all, with what is probably the hardest job in the world. 85 years old, and he has lead us beautifully for the last 8 years.
Thanks again for asking, I really, really would love to answer a question rather than have someone make assumptions. Blessings!

I think that about sums up my feelings on the matter. I have loved this Pope. I think Catholics generally have strong feelings for the leader of the Catholic church, especially when he is a good and holy pope. Pope Benedict has done a very good job of electing very good, very faithful men to be bishops, archbishops and cardinals. I think he has been planning this for a very long time. I pray the rest of the world comes to an understanding of what is really happening, rather than just making foolish assumptions about the church.

A couple of great commentaries:


http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/50780573#50780573

Thoughts on Feminism...

I posted something about Roe V. Wade on Facebook the other day (because that never happens) and had a comment from someone that basically said "You asked for all this, be careful what you wish for." I responded that I hadn't wished for any of this.  That response got me thinking, though. What do I really feel about feminism? I know that I feel it got twisted and misunderstood. I know that it was used as a propaganda machine of radical "feminists" who pushed for things that most women never wanted. But, had I been born just a few years earlier, what would I have wanted out of the feminist movement? What would it have meant to me, as a woman, as a mother?

I think that feminism began with all the right intentions. Women are human beings  - equal to man in intellect, importance and worth. We have a right to certain things, voting, owning property, to not be regarded as property. I think if a woman is doing the same job as a man, in most cases she should make the same money. That is, if she is willing to work as hard as a man is willing to work.

Where I think feminism went all wrong was the sexual revolution. Making sex outside of marriage common place and celebrated diminished sex. It took the reverence away from the act. Add in the birth control pill, and now men are free to use women without consequence, and they have convinced women that that is a good thing. Add abortion into it, and not only do you have sex without children, but you have torn away from women what it IS to be a woman. To encourage, force, enable a woman to kill her own child? It is the same as ripping out her heart. Yet we as a society have done this so much that many women have turned their motherly instincts off. They have walled off their hearts to the truth that they hold deep down inside.

I think women actually hold a very special place in humanity, as do men. Women are by nature care givers, nurturers. Men are by nature  providers. We both have biological drives. To deny these biological drives is to diminish our very nature. Why shouldn't we embrace the gifts God has given us, so that we each perform our rolls to the best of our abilities? Now, I know that some men are better nurturers, and some women are career driven. Fine.. I actually happen to be married to a very nurturing man. And, I happen to like bringing in some of the money our family needs. However, I know for certain that my husband would never be happy being the sole care giver  - he needs to work, he needs to be the provider. Quite honestly, I just wouldn't look at him quite the same way if he wanted to stay home all day and I am sure he wouldn't quite know what to make of me if I suddenly decided I didn't want to stay with the kids and rock the babies and nurse and bake and all the other things mothers do.

I am just trying to say that men and women are different. Very, very different. The last 40 or so years of everyone trying to deny that are just ridiculous. Why aren't these differences celebrated? I am honored to have a gentlemanly husband who shovels walks for me, opens doors for me, carries heavy things for me (and ensures that our boys do these things) makes sure my car is gassed up and running properly. I am honored that he thinks I need to be taken care of in these ways. Women are special. We hold a special place in society. We are the gentler sex, and that's not a bad thing! I hope I am raising sons who think women are special. Who respect the intelligence of their mother, sisters and someday wives. Who know that women are worthy of their protection. Men who will defend their women under any circumstances. Men who appreciate all the gifts a woman will grace them with if they are treated properly and given the respect and admiration they deserve.

So what do I want from feminism? I want the world to acknowledge that women are good. We are special. We are intelligent creatures worthy of respect. We need the protection of men and know it. We appreciate it when we receive it, and remember it when we do not. We have soft hearts...the softest place reserved for the man who loves us, and for the children who come from that love.

I have a few words to say about the role of men in society - but I will save that for the next post...

40 Years of Roe...

I was up late the other night, nursing and rocking Miss Priscilla and flipping channels. I landed on some show that followed two women through pregnancy as they made adoption plans for their babies. I thought "Wow! These ladies are having their babies, choosing to give birth to them and place them with loving families." So, I watched.

The first mother was a young lady of 21. She had gotten pregnant with an ex-boyfriend who wanted to keep the baby, but she felt she wasn't ready to parent and talked him into giving the baby up for adoption.

The second mother was a 29 year old mother with a 4 year old son. She went through a bad break up, slept with a friend and became pregnant. She went right away for an abortion, but couldn't get one due to a shot she refused to have. She tried to "get rid" of her baby with herbal remedies, but the baby just "stuck". She then found out they were twins. She was rather put out at having to carry twins, but made an adoption plan for them  - most of her plan seemed to be about her needs rather than her twins, and when the time came, she almost cheerfully handed them over. The other young mother chose at the last minute to parent her baby daughter.

The show pointed out a mind set that is boggling to me, and no doubt a product of a society that has been killing it's own children for 40 years now. Over 55 million children have been murdered through abortion in this country. FIFTY FIVE MILLION! How have we fallen so far that so many people feel that it is perfectly acceptable, even good and right, to kill an unborn baby?! How did we get here, after our fore fathers fought for freedom for England and our ancestors fought for freedom from slavery, and even the women in this country fought for freedom to vote and own property. After all that fighting, how is it possible that we can look at innocent children and take away their rights, freedom and lives? We have worked so hard to ensure that so many are free and have rights, yet we destroy the most innocent among us?

I have often begged for understanding with this. Abortion is not something I can wrap my head around. I have compassion for the women who feel trapped, who don't have anyone to lean on. I really do. I WANT to be the person they lean on! What I don't understand, and never will, is the militant way so many defend abortion. They are so fast to call the baby - who by the way - has been proven scientifically, not religiously, to be an actual human being from the moment of conception - a tumor that needs to be removed, or a growth, or something less than human. Why do they turn a blind eye, self rightiously, to the fact that a woman doesn't just become pregnant through some mysterious source? A baby does not appear as a cancer, she must act, make a choice for that child to come into being. Why do they seem to forget this? You are pro-choice? Good - I encourage you to make the choice NOT to have sex and therefore not become pregnant. Oh, I forgot, they are not calling it "pro-choice" anymore. I forget why - not a strong enough message or something.

My point with all of this was to demonstrate what 40 years of Roe v. Wade has done to our nation. Our society used to treasure children. We knew how precious they are. Now, children are regularly veiwed as a burden. Babies are gifts, people. The best, most wonderous gift. Please, open your hearts to them. Love the ones Our Lord chooses to bless you with, however they come to you. Encourage your own children and the ones you have influence with to love children, to protect them, to find delight in them.

I pray that one day soon, we will all be celebrating when this country finally recognizes the travesty that has been occurring for the last 40 years and puts an end to it. Pray this is the last anniversary Roe ever sees.

And finally, if you are experiencing a crisis pregnancy - reach out to me, I can help. Or a pregnancy center, or your church. Just ask for help. There are so very many people waiting to help you - no matter if you want to raise your baby, or place your baby for adoption. You are not trapped, you are not alone, you and your child, are loved not just by God, but by many.

"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish." - Blessed Teresa of Calcutta