Wednesday, October 21, 2009


My husband and I just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary, and 15 years as a couple. It flew by in the blink of an eye, but not without it's ups and downs. We have had several children born with some medical issues, and of course, money is always a challenge when you have nine children. But, all in all, we can count our big arguements on the fingers on one hand, and that I consider a blessing.

We were both married before, my husband and I. Somehow we had both managed to marry the exact wrong person. I think I can truthfully say that we each would have stayed in our respective marriages had the choice been left up to us. Niether of us believes in divorce, but sometimes the choice is taken away from you.

None of this makes me qualified to tell others how they should and should not live thier lives, but I have a theory on why divorce happens so much in this country. Actually, the theory has two parts:
 1. People expect to be "in love" forever.
 2. People expect to be loved perfectly by thier spouse.

So you get married, and you are head over heels in love. The whole walking on clouds, can't quit smiling thing. Then one day you wake up, look across the table and feel like you are looking at a stranger, and you wonder how you got there. Or, maybe you just aren't feeling that wave of love, the hormones, whatever, anymore. Maturity will hopefully tell you that no, you aren't going to be in love everyday, but you make the choice to love anyway. Love is an action, even more than it is a feeling. I think people either lose sight of that, or somehow, they never learned that. Then, one lovely snowy morning your husband has cleaned off your car, warmed it up, shoveled a little path for you, and made you a cup of tea to take with you, and you realize what love really is... it is the care you take, the little jobs and the big jobs and everything in between, as much as it is the passion and the feelings.

The second reason I think people get divorced is they expect to be loved in an all encompassing way, a perfect love. Unconditional love. What they really are yearning for is the love of Christ. Only the Lord can love us with the boundlessness that we all desire. Expecting a human, a spouse, to do this for us can only lead to disappointment. So many people do not invite God into thier marriage, and I don't know how these marriages survive without His grace.

So, my darling husband, if you ever see this...Happy Anniversary! I love you so much, for all that you do for us, the sacrifices you have made, and more for the man you are everyday. You are the greatest blessing in my life, and I thank God for you everyday.


  1. Dearest Megan...
    Thank you for your thoughts and prayers on my nephew. I know he is in God's hands. It still doesn't take the pain away. There is a long, long story behind all of this. Perhaps one day, I can explain. Somehow, with nine kids...I don't think that will be anytime soon! I thank God everyday for my children...EVERYDAY! And I thank God for people like you, Megan, who take the time to comment and care. It means so, so much. Hope to have made a new friend. Have a wonderful, wonderful Anniversary! Shannon

  2. Dear Shannon,
    Your comment on Heather's blog broke my heart. I have nine children as well, and some have had some health issues. Even though most of them are now in the past, I still look at those kids, loving them all the more for the fear and struggles that came with them. Each child, every child, is a blessing. I just wish everyone could see it. Blessings to you, I hope you are able to find some peace with all of this. Thanks so much for the Anniversary wishes! Megan

  3. Megan, thanks for telling me about this page. I really agree with you on your thoughts about marriage. Especially about love being an ACTION more than a feeling. When difficult times come (and they will)it's our choice to love or not.

    By the way, I really have enjoyed looking at your family pics! You have such a beautiful family. Craig and I often comment on how much we miss the Karcher camping trips. We have some wonderful memories of those times.

    Take care, April

  4. HI April! Thanks for your lovely comment. We miss you too! I used to really enjoy talking to you - I don't identify too well with most of the people at the office. Collyn, Dana and Stacy, but the other girls seem so much younger, if you know what I mean, even if they aren't really all that much younger!
    I wish people were told this stuff about marriage before they got married. I wish they 'got' it. But, hopefully if we teach our children well, they can avoid making painful choices - if they ever learn to listen! Take care!


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