Born Under A Lucky Star

Sometimes I think I have been too blessed. That somehow I was born under this lucky star. I have a beautiful marriage to a sweet, amazing man who has forgiven a rather nasty bout of Ebay addiction, among other things. We have all these beautiful, delicious kids who are for the most part, healthy, and happy. We are thriving.

We have a wonderful, supportive extended family who has been right there with us, through thick and thin. I have sisters. I cannot even begin to say what it means to me to have my sisters. They are my very best friends. This includes the fabulous girl my brother married. She feels like a sister to all of us. I think these girls deserve their own post, so I'll let it go at that - but just know I LOVE them!

My brother is of course, at one moment the typical brother, teasing, supportive, and all that, and the next moment, he is the boss man. He owns what can only be described as a family business, and we all work for the business. It is a web development firm, and we have been incredibly fortunate to have the business not only survive, but thrive during the economic downturn.

We have this incredible family, our parents have never, ever  not been there. They are usually our own 'first responders' to any joy or trauma. In many ways we had an idyllic childhood.


There are nearly 21 children in our family now, with the new babies that are on the way. It scares me a little. We have so, so much. They are all healthy,beautiful, amazing children.I love every single one more than I can say. It is almost too much for one heart to hold.

So with all of this, these many, many blessings, my cynical mind sometimes wonders how we can be so blessed. That maybe ours is coming. My mom says we have had our family tragedy,  her brother died in a bizarre accident at 31. It was horrible, and though I was very young, I remember it all very clearly. It was a tragedy. It was really bad, but in a way, we were very young and sort of removed. I pray, however, that she is right and that is the worst thing that ever happens.

I know that I wouldn't want to go through life without any trials or tribulations. And we've had our share. Kenzie was born with a congenital heart defect, and it was really, really scary for a while. She's since had surgery and is now very healthy. Jonah has a seizure disorder, and some learning disabilities, but we are handling those and he is doing very well. The other kids have had some odd thing here and there, some tubes in the ears, some minor surgeries. But overall, they are great.

So why do I sometimes feel as though I am waiting for the other shoe to drop? Is it possible to be too blessed? I know the Lord heaps His blessings upon those who trust in Him. I do trust in Him, and in Our Lady. The Blessed Mother has seen me through the worst moments in my life. I know she has asked her Son for favors on my behalf. I know the Lord will not send me anything I cannot handle, but I really, truly hope He does not think I am too strong. But, for now, I am going to revel in this feeling of having been born under a lucky star.

Like When We Were Dating...

So, my last post was this stupid, narcissistic post about whether or not I should even be a blogger, as I am a reasonably happy, stable person without a lot of trauma. Nor am I super zany or crazy, or any of the other things I have been reading on other blogs. Then I got a comment from a reader that made me realize the reasons I started this to begin with - my family, self expression, practice my writing, create a journal of sorts. Not for anyone else, really, though I have to admit to being a little (okay, totally) thrilled that a couple of people are reading it!

So, I am starting here. I figure it's kind of like when my husband and I first started dating. You know, you are on your 'best behavior'. You don't swear, you try to look good, attempt to not embarrass yourself. Basically giving the person you are dating a false first impression in hopes that they will ask you out again (or return to your blog!).

My husband and I had been on maybe three dates when I was talking to him on the phone one day, and my daughter Meggie did something that prompted me to call her a brat. He heard me. I realized what I had just said, and actually breathed a sigh of relief when he chuckled and asked what she had done. We had both been trying to portray ourselves as perfect parents who never yelled at their kids, never uttered a negative world, blah, blah, blah. So, the cat was out of the bag - I was uh, regular? I wasn't some super human, college student, young, single mother with two jobs who never uttered a bad word or crankiness of any kind. Whew!

Well, that's what I am going to do here from now on. I'm going to just say what I feel like saying, without fearing that I will alienate anyone, or make them mad, or make them not want to read again. Not that what I have posted in the past was in anyway false, it wasn't. But, I have not posted some things, worrying that they would be boring, or come off as judgmental, or too conservative (is there such a thing?), or whatever. So it's going to be no holds barred, people! Are you ready?! (You can see the dork-ness just oozing out of me, can't you?)

Should I Be a Blogger?

Ever since I started this blog, I have not been too sure what I should share here, just in case it was ever actually read by humans. Do I write about the tough stuff, blended family issues, parenting issues that can be pretty personal, or do I just write the things I planned to, like stories about the kiddos, and the little triumphs and defeats we meet each day?

I read a number of blogs, they are mostly what people would term "mommy blogs", but these women (and 1 dude) are all so vastly different, that I really feel like their blogs are nothing alike. Many of them have some sort of personal tragedy attached to them, so I wonder, am I drawn to these blogs, or what? These particular blogs seem to have many, many readers, so I think perhaps it is just  a matter of human nature. We empathize. We want to offer sympathy and support.

So that leads me to wonder, am I too boring, what with my mostly healthy kids, happy marriage and stable home life? I mean, we are big, but nothing too out of the ordinary goes on around here. My Winter Wonderland post, I mean come on - boring! Totally true, but utterly boring. I do spend large portions of my day in complete bliss over these kids. But alas, bliss is boring.

There are other blogs where the moms tease about being lazy or grumpy or just crazy, and I read and am entertained, and I do realize that they are probably no where near as lazy or crazy as they make out, and I am probably right up there with them, but can I really show that part of myself for the sake of a blog?

I think a blog should be about truth, otherwise, what's the point? Who would spend time just blabbing out a bunch of lies? So I have to wonder, do I really have anything to say?

Just so this post is not completely narcissistic, here's a little plug for my awesome brother in law, who has taken many of the kid pics on this blog: check out the most recent photo shoot (not everyone got pics this time, though).

Our Winter Wonderland

I should be doing school right now. We should be in the middle of science with Jonah and Jenna while Kolbe works on poetry and Kenzie reads by herself. But, my Kolbe woke up this morning, bursting to get outside into all that that sparkling snow. He and Jonah and Jenna hatched a plan last night to build an igloo. They were going to build tunnels under the snow and create thier own snowy castle. Kolbe started bugging me first thing this morning. 'Can I go out now? How about now? Has it warmed up enough yet?"  I never let them go out if it is too, too cold, so I made him wait until it had warmed up to 15 degrees.

They are all out there, with Luke and Ben, digging away, making bricks, and creating thier own little world. I know there are more 'important' things they should be doing, but the snow beckoned, and I let them go.

We live in Ohio, and it is not terrribly often that we get so much snow all at once. We tend to get a little snow often, and a lot of snow once in a while. So, for this afternoon, I am going to let them learn about science in the snow, architecture in their own building plans, and about taking the moments when they are offered, especially when it comes in a beautiful, cold, sparkly afternoon just waiting for little imaginations to fulfill them.

So, while we should be doing school, or independent reading, or chores, one of the reasons we homeschool is so we can take advantage of these simple pleasures God offers every so often.

There will be plenty of time for all of those things after I get them back inside, give them some hot chocolate, as that is a requirement after an afternoon in the snow! These kids are so much fun, and while I am not wanting to be one of those mommy bloggers where everything is sunshine and snowmen, today, that's just what we are... and I am incredibly grateful.

I'm Still Learning

I recently read a lovely post on one of my favorite blogs. The writer ws describing a not so loving relationship with her grandmother, and the one bright memory she had of the woman who should have showered her with love.

I have often thought that I learn best by the example of others. Quite often, I find that the lesson I am learning is what NOT to do. I have a cousin who practically grew up in our house. When I was small, I loved to pretend that he was my big brother. Now in my thirties (er, ahem - 38, but still!) I still like to think of him as a big brother. The reason he spent so much time with us was because my dad was his godfather and when his parents were divorced, my dad sort of scooped him up and brought him home to us. This of course continued all of our lives, and we are all still very close.

The aftermath of the divorce brought a stepmother into my cousin's life. I can remember so many instances of her being unkind to my cousin, and I could never figure it out. Then, I married someone with a child. Now, I still did not ever justify being unkind to a child, but the frustrations, feelings and turmoil that comes with all of that became very clear to me. Still, I used that lesson I had learned as a child as a how to not treat my stepchild.

I referred to a post I had read  - I too had a not so nice grandmother. She was strict, she chased us around with a dust rag most of the time, and her words were very unkind a lot of the time. She was especially mean to our youngest sister. I never really knew what my sisters and I had done wrong until I had children and she started the same with them. We went wrong in being girls, and some of us were plump, so we had two strikes against us. On top of all that, our parents were raising us Catholic, so we were doomed on top of it all. But, there were times when she was nice, and I know that she did what she could for us, growing up. My other grandmother was the polar opposite. She was strict, just like my other grandmother, but not about cleaning or messes, but about religion and morals. She was very kind, and made sure you knew she loved you. She also made sure you were saying your prayers, and I often heard her send the big boys to mow someone's yard or take a pie to someone else. She was of service to others and set a very good example.

I have learned some of what I will need to know about being a good grandmother from both of these women. I have learned to be kind, and a bit strict if I really have to, but to always let my grandchildren know that I love them, and treasure their presence in my life.

Perhaps one of the best lessons I have ever learned about how to treat people, related or not, came from my Uncle Jim and Aunt Pat. When you walked up the steps to the porch of their house, you almost never even had to wring the bell, they were either on the porch or already opeing the door to greet you with a huge smile of welcome. My Uncle Jim would enfold you in a big hug that smelled like cigar, tell you how beautiful you are, and ask why you have stayed away so long. My Aunt Pat would always have coffee going, it might be as strong and thick as tar, but it would be ready for any takers. I have really tried to remember how thier love for people shone out of them, and tried to emulate it as much as possible.

Lastly, and mostly, I have learned so much about how to love other from my own parents. When we were growing up, our friends were always welcome at our table. My mom's motto was "there's always room for one more". We always had someone living at our house, first my mom's younger brother, then as we got older, various friends would need a place to stay. Then there were the friends who always knew they could come to the Karcher house for food, fun or solace, and they would get what they needed.

So, while I have often thought that I have learned from others what not to do, I have had some truly excellent examples of what to do, and I pray the good Lord gives me the grace to take those lessons to heart and live them.

Giving Up My Addiction

I just read my last post and I realized I have a sick and strange obsession with the exclamation point. I use it often. Too often. I use it unnecessarily. I think this must be a flaw in my writing, which is part of the reason behind the blog, to help me hone my writing skills. There must be ways to convey excitment in writing without resorting to the exclamation point all the time (resists urge to use said punctuation mark).

Hey Mama, is Santa Really Real?

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I love all the excitement of my children preparing for Advent, counting down the days until Christmas. Because we homeschool, most of our kids retain thier belief in Santa a little longer than other children tend to, and my seven year old, Kolbe is no different. This boy is very smart, and a skeptic to boot, but he has the biggest imagination in the world. He also has a very tender heart, so when he gets his heart broken, it takes a while to heal.

We were very fortunate to be able to take a ride on the Polar Express this year. Kolbe was so excited, he asked every day how many more days until we rode the Polar Express. I was a little worried that he would build it up so much in his mind that he would be disappointed, and I was right. The train ride was fun, and perfect for the 3 to maybe 6 year old set. Seven is pushing it, just because they are getting too darn smart! Well, the minute Santa got on the train, Kolbe knew something was up, this Santa was very obviously not the "real" Santa! He was crushed! He was really hoping that finally, this would be the time he would meet the real Santa.

I was able to restore some of Kolbe's faith in Santa with an online video that allows you to plug in your child's picture, name, and some other details. He was so amazed, and I was grateful to be able to retain some of that Christmas magic for him.

This little boy is so sweet, and so good. He is a hard nut to crack, he doesn't like hugs and kisses, or saying I love you, but he feels it all. He looks forward to Baby Jesus' birthday, and is the first to remind us that we need to bake a cake to help Jesus celebrate. I never know quite what to make of this kid.

This was his Christmas list: (three presents each, just like Baby Jesus)
1. A microscope
2. A model of the Solar System
3. A Big Top Cupcake maker

He is such a hoot! When he grows up, he wants to be a priest who travels around the world and cooks. I really, really love this kid. He is a cool kid! Did I mention he is completely and totally obsessed with Michael Jackson? He was even MJ for Halloween! If you knew Kolbe, you'd understand how funny this is. This kid is stoic. He is serious. The fact that he likes Michael Jackson just doesn't jibe with the rest of his personality! The fact that no one else is allowed to sing MJ songs does, though! When he plays his music, he takes it very seriously! No dancing or singing along allowed!
Kolbe is really into science and nature, as well as cooking. I cannot wait to see what he is like when he grows up, I just hope he takes his sweet time doing it, because I am totally getting a kick out of wathcing this kid grow up! I love you, Kolbe, you are for sure the coolest kids I know!