As I made my way back into the pew, tugging my Benjamin gently behind me, I knelt and covered my eyes, as I always do. I miss so much of Mass sometimes, tending to runny noses or noisy boys, but I always take those moments after communion to just be there, present, and offer up my Mass and communion. As soon as I covered my eyes, I started to cry. I wasn't even really sure why. I was happy. My girls shot looks over at me, and I tried to swipe away the tears, but they just kept coming. I have been wondering why my reaction to communion was so strong.
I think it finally just came to me. I always react strongly to going to communion, but now, I knew in my heart that my babies were with this Christ, and that, in meeting Him in communion, I was sharing a bit of what they got to experience all the time. These perfect, sinless, precious children got to sit at His feet. And I don't feel worthy of that...not at all. But, every time I go, I get a bit of that. I get to sit with Him for that moment in time. And I get to share in something my little ones who have gone before me get to experience all the time. To be the mother of such children is an honor. I have saints in heaven. I have children in the presence of Our Lord. We are blessed.