Okay, okay, I admit it! SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T GET IT! And for some reason, I continue to be surprised by this. We know ten is a lot. We know that most people these days don't have 10 kids. We know that most people want a boy and a girl, and consider anything more ridiculous, burdensome. (Though it seems to me that Americans ARE having more kids!) But you know what? I think maybe we know something they don't - and if you are a regular reader of mine, I bet you know it too. Kids are a joy. A blessing. A gift. They make the world go 'round. Quite literally. We as a species, NEED kids to survive.
But, beyond the survival of the species is a basic set of principles that my husband and I follow faithfully, and have since our marriage:
1. God is the Author of Life. It is not for us to reject His gifts of life.
2. Contraception, though so very widely accepted, makes for unhappiness. More about this in a minute.
3. A man and a woman, bound together in holy matrimony are sacramental.
We as a couple have an understanding of this that is limited by our humanity, but accepted as has been taught to us by the Church and cherished it as a Gift of the Holy Spirit. As such, we know that we are to be completely open to each other, and to God's gifts. This has made for a very rich marriage. We have loved and enjoyed each other with a freedom and abandon that really can only happen in a marriage. No fears of pregnancy, no fears or rejection, no fears of a broken heart, no fears of anything other than society's lack of understanding, and that, we are used to and unafraid. Why should we be afraid when we are acting as God intended? When we know that God created us as sexual beings for a purpose, it was meant as a gift to us as man and woman, husband and wife. We are married, we have the perfect setting in which to raise children. They will be provided for in love and faith, and will grow up with knowing they are loved and wanted. Can anyone honestly tell me that any other situation would be so ideal?
As for the whole contraception mentality; it is so pervasive, that even the sweet little nun who was with us in the hospital when we lost our little twins had it wrong. She suggested to us that while children are important and good, it is "our life, too", meaning that she thought it would be appropriate to use some form of birth control. Perhaps she thought we had done our "Catholic duty" and should move on and find some way of preventing future pregnancies. You know it is disheartening when you get this from a nun, and when you know which priests you can ask to get the answer you want... I know what the answer is. The only acceptable way to prevent pregnancy is abstinence through the use of NFP, and only when the couple discerns a serious need to prevent.
Anyway, back to contraception (I know, I tend to be really stream of consciousness - it bugs me, too - sorry!) - Contraception has done so much. Damage. Contraception has taken a woman, and turned her into a toy. No longer do men need to fear getting a woman pregnant, they can use her and toss her aside. No one need know, as no baby will result. Should the contraception fail, well, they can always fall back on abortion, again, no consequences. Contraception has taken a sacred act, that for most of 2000 years has only been acceptable in society through a marriage, and made it a recreational pastime. Contraception has created, to a large degree the culture of death. If it fails, either in preventing pregnancy, or in not allowing the newly conceived baby to implant, then there is always abortion as a back up. Contraception and abortion go against all a woman was made to be.
There is just so much to this topic, and it floats in my head all the time. I feel like I never made any of the points I meant to here, small ones keep interrupting my thought process, reminding me that this kind of post is best left for after bedtime. I guess what I was getting at here, is that we have joyfully welcomed each new life. Aside from Meg, they were all intentional. Even Luke, when I was so tired, was on purpose. We know what we are getting into, and welcome it with open arms. Is our time for parenting infants nearly over? Probably, and we will cross that bridge when we come to it. But, what society at large doesn't seem to understand is that we want these kids...pregnancy doesn't just happen - no matter what the pro-aborts would like us to think. Nearly 100% of the time it take an act of will. Nearly 100% of the time, people make the choice, and if a pregnancy results...Hallelujah! Praise God, for He has been so generous! I know and understand that many people have sex fully intending to NOT get pregnant, but when you try to divorce the act from it's purpose, you are bound to get surprised, even with contraception. It's nature people. Know it. Accept it. Embrace it in your marriage... but take it from a girl who has learned the hard way - marriage is where it is AT, people! The greatest, best, most wondrous moments await you if you save it for marriage. I promise. And the gifts that it brings will never cease to astound you.
By the way - great book recommendation! Adam and Eve After the Pill - Check it out!