Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I Ran Away from Home Today...

     Today was rough. I don't even know why. Ben was over the top annoying, Jonah just wouldn't stop eating. Jenna was bugging me about an order I placed for her. Doug was mad because I spent our whole last paycheck and only got two bills paid. Kolbe won't stop flipping through the air. No one really did school, with the exception of Kenzie. I ended up running away from home...for about an hour. I dropped off the water bill, and went to the grocery store for more butter. I can't bring myself to buy a whole bunch of butter at once, unless it is really cheap. I keep thinking, that much like gas, it will probably go back down in a day or two, so I only get what I have to have. This of course means I go to the store way too often. To buy butter.

     So, anyway...I ran away from home. On the way I talked to my mom. When I ran out of places to go, I went home, but instead of going inside, I slouched down in the van and called my sister. My Boo, who is leaving me in a few short months for far off Pittsburgh. Alright, so Pittsburgh is an hour and a half away. But, it's not like it's the next town over, like now. It's not like she'll live right near my parents and brother and sister. So, I am missing her already. So, back to hiding from my children. I slouched down, hoping no one would see me if they came to investigate. Luckily, no one did for a good 45 minutes. I got to talk on the phone with my sister, where no one could hear me, and I could moan and complain and yes, even gossip a wee bit, without anyone interrupting, or overhearing something I would rather they didn't, or asking me who I was talking to, or anything. It was great. (I also had a stash of cheapo chocolates, and that made it even better.)

    We talked and talked, and as we did I was reassured that no matter where she went, I could always have this with her. She would always be able to just hang out on the phone with me. While we were talking, we started to wonder if we had ever been mad at each other. More than kid stuff, and more than annoyed. I mean actually angry. Neither one of us could remember a single instance. Maybe that is just the blessing of time, or the fondness of our hearts, I'm not sure. But, for as long as I can remember, she has always been my very best friend. She is the first person I ever worried about. She is the first person I ever took care of. My husband often wonders if I love her more than I love him. Of course I do. And, of course I don't.

     She moved away from me once before, to the actually kind of far off land of Chicago. I think I might have been mad at her then. I really, really hated that she lived so far away. But, they only stayed away for six months, and they came home constantly. I think maybe, as much as she loved Chicago, she missed us.  Now she is moving, and this time it probably will be a bit more permanent. I worry about losing cousin sleepovers, and our girls night out, and the fun of last minute family dinners when we all pile into my folks' house and make them feed the 35+ of us at the drop of a hat (which they always manage to pull off, somehow). I love how close our family has always been, I know how special and rare that can be. I don't want it to change.

 But mostly, I worry about missing my sister. I know I can talk to her anytime I want. I could even drive over to see her pretty easily, but not as easily as dropping in just because we're around. Not as easily as just deciding to have dinner together. It won't be easy to leave all the kids together while we go prowl the aisles of  the craft store or Target. I also worry that she will be lonely, or need me, or will have to walk to "C" Building all by herself. Wait, that was 3rd grade. But that's how I feel.


  1. Awww Megan HUGS!!!...it's hard to let her go I know. I wish I had a magic wand to wave over everyone today!..sheesh...it's been a stressful one...I guess it's the big eye opener for me that you can't really make people happy, and they can't really make you happy...only God can provide real authentic happiness and everything else is just a fleeting glimpse of that. The bit of happiness and joy we experience here we won't to hold on to so bad!..and for as long as possible, because we aren't stupid!...lol!

    Hang in there ...you do have the phone calls..you do have the van to hide in :)...keep it supplied with low fat, low cal chocolates :) hehee

    Love ya!

  2. Very true, we can't make others happy. All we can do is the best we can do. Praying for lots of folks tonight! Blessings, and love ya right back!


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