I was looking down at this tiny little guy, and he started to turn bright red, and his little body just seized up. I screamed for someone to help us. No one even looked our way. It felt like that nightmare where you can't scream and you can't move. I yelled, no one responded. My husband, my Douglas, walked out of the room and roared...ROARED for help. People came running. I still don't know if I made any noise or not when I yelled for help - but they were finally coming. I thought my little baby was having a stroke. They whisked him away to start working on him. While they were getting him stabilized the doctor said that he felt they could not handle Jonah as well as the Children's hospital, so they were going to life flight him to Akron. I was scared and relieved at the same time. We had gone to Children's with Mackenzie, and I knew how amazing the hospital was. When the life flight nurse arrived, she took over, and I grabbed my Douglas and just prayed. I prayed to my Blessed Mother. I asked her to watch over my son, and to beg her Son to protect him.
The life flight nurse, who was as beautiful as any angel, discovered that Jonah had 0 blood sugar. ZERO. This shocked me, but I knew he had not eaten. We hadn't been able to get him awake, and had been placated by nurses since his birth. They never checked his blood sugar when he was born, but I think his umbilical cord had been pinched when he flipped and got the big knot, wrapped it around his neck, and around his whole little body. The doctor knew something was off, but could not say what it was. Now we knew.
My Jonah has been through so much because of that rough start. He has some learning challenges that, in my mind, are a direct result of the problems he had at birth. He has a seizure disorder, and has undergone many tests, and takes medication every day. The meds change the alkaline in his saliva, which causes severe tooth decay. He has put up with some pretty horrible dental procedures to try and correct this problem. Through all of this, he has been brave, strong, and completely uncomplaining. I am so proud of him.
Jonah is, of course, much more than his medical issues, but this is one of those things that will always haunt me. The night before the first seizure he was awake, and screaming. Doug was walking the floor with him. Why didn't I feed him? Why did it not even occur to me to try? We had, at that point been up for several days straight with no sleep (chicken lice - whole other post!). It is amazing what sheer exhaustion will do to your judgment. I have had nightmares ever since where I have a new baby and I forget to feed him. He nursed a lot in the hospital, through his sleepiness. The doctor tried to tell me not to let him do that - he camped at the breast - but I am so glad I didn't listen! It could have been so much worse.
As an aside, I know this all would have been so, so hard without our family. My parents kept our girls, Megan and Mackenzie, while Jonah was in the hospital, and made sure they were with us as much as possible. My brothers and sisters took turns with them, too. Both of our parents sat with us, brought us food, and comforted us. It would have been so, so hard without them - so, if they see this - thank you. I truly don't know what we would have done without you, especially during this particular crisis, and Mackenzie's.
In the end, Jonah is a healthy 12 year old, who also happens to have a seizure disorder. He has a seizure every 5 to 10 seconds. They are tiny, and he doesn't feel them, they are doing no harm. But, with that kind of frequency one is bound to go to the body and become a grand mal every once in a while, so he is on the medication to keep that from happening. He's beautiful and funny and clever. I pray that he knows, and God knows how very much I love him.