Growing Pains

The last few weeks have been the slower, snowy, stay at home and snuggle in variety. That's not to say, however, that there has not been lots of activity in the Jeffery household. These children never seem to stop growing, changing, and hitting mile stones.

One big development is that Jonah has developed a close friendship, and that makes me so happy. As a very shy boy, he takes a little longer before he really engages with someone, so this lovely friendship has been so good for him. They talk on the phone and both share a deep and abiding love for...Lego Hero Factory. The boy is actually driving me nuts because he is always  "Mom, how can I earn eight bucks? How can I earn money to go buy the new Hero Factory..." But, the two have such a good time...you are always so glad when your kids have good friends.

My Jo has, of late, also been sporting a good bit of ever thickening, darkening peach fuzz just under his nose. He's 12! What is this? He's the oldest boy, but in so many ways, I still think of him as a little kid. As he takes on more jobs and responsibilities around the house, and looking after his younger siblings, I am reminded that he is not a little boy anymore. I am constantly buying him bigger shoes and longer pants, so I don't know why this comes as a surprise. My Jo is sweet and kind, and helpful. He loves his brothers, cousins and friends so much, and I am so proud of how hard he has worked in school all year. Growing up. Soon enough his dad will have to teach him how to shave off his new peach fuzz mustache and how to work our tricky old lawn mower.

My sweet lil Luke is nearly six years old. He started the school year in kindergarten, but he was still just so not ready for it. He was really wanting to play and be little. As we rounded Christmas  and the new year, I see a new little Lukey, one who is now eager to learn and asks me constantly to do school. I know he will do just fine next year when we start again, and for now we'll just do the little things he likes to do, build his skills and get him ready to start in earnest in the fall. I have also noticed his language maturing. He says more words correctly, and his sentences are getting much more sophisticated. He is starting to play big boy games, and loves all of his older brothers' toys. He has two loose teeth! Not to mention that he has flown through the sizes too, and is now in a size six or seven, having started in the fall in a five. Unreal. He's still so handsome and sweet that he just breaks my heart with his thoughtful acts and little kindnesses. "Mom, I got you a drink of water!", bringing me a half full cup of warm water. He has my heart, for sure.

Last night my baby, my Mr. Yummy Pants, my Yeb, slept in the big boy bed with Ben. We were nursing right before he was going to bed, and he climbed out of my lap, cuddled up next to Ben and pulled the covers up. My big boy snuggled right in and slept all night without getting out until this morning. I can't believe it just happened like that. I don't know if we'll keep putting him to bed in the big bed with Ben, but he obviously can stay in the bed and not get up, so we'll see. While I am always excited when one of my kids hits a milestone, everyone of them with this baby has been a little bittersweet. I just want my last little baby to stay a baby a little longer, yet he has been doing all within his power to grow  up right before my eyes. Meanwhile, Ben has been exhibiting some awesome big brother skills, helping his baby brother find shoes, sharing toys, and even rubbing his boo boos for him. Such a good brother, it melts me to see him take care of Yeb - I hope he always takes care of his baby brother, even when his baby brother is 50 years old.

My Kolbe Thomas is about to make his first confession. As a very serious boy who still says he wants to be a priest when he grows up, this is a BIG deal.  He will go from being a little boy to one who is expected to reason, understand and avoid sin. I think he actually does a pretty good job of it already - not perfect, he is just a little boy after all, but he looks at life in such a serious way. Rules are made to be followed, and he has a very hard time with people who choose to break the rules, or do something that appears to be breaking a rule. I know part of this is his age, but part of it is his personality. Everything is so straightforward for him - he is just so, so very like his dad. That makes me happy, and a little nervous for him - his dad is so shy, so is nervous in social situations (my exact opposite!), yet never has a hard time deciding what the right thing is in almost any given situation. He will be the hero, always helping those around him, just like his dad, just because it is the right thing to do. Too bad for all those damsels in distress, and he will even now tell them, "Sorry, you're gonna have to like somebody else, I'm gonna be a priest!".

My Jenna, so very much the middle child, has been in her own little world of late. She does her school work, does her chores, and really never makes any waves. Her nose is always in a book. She is a little too good, so I worry that she has something up her sleeve, or the waves she never makes will suddenly come crashing down. On a positive note, she has turned into quite the little writer, and has almost completed her composition course for the year. She knows what she likes, and excels at it. Luckily for me, she is also doing well in the less fun subjects. Whew! I love this last little girl so much. I am trying very hard to let her grow up, and not make her be my baby girl. I have quit buying her the striped tights and ruffled socks, but I refuse to stop buying hair bows and headbands - and I think she's okay with that.

My Mackenzie Rose, she is so beautiful, perfectionistic, cranky, hilarious, sleepy and irritated. I think that almost every 13almost14 year  girl in America has some or most of these qualities, but Kenzie manages to make them great. When she is being a perfectionist, she will drive you crazy if it is not good enough. The cranky isn't just cranky - it's supercrank. And so on with the rest of them. She does everything in a big way. I love this girl, she makes me laugh, scream, cry and laugh again. Between the two of us we can't figure out pre-algebra to save our souls, we see the equations so differently, but she is growing up to be a beautiful soul, with a huge heart. I am so proud of the young lady who decided she needed to just get on that bus, and soon, she will be making her confirmation. I know she is actually taking the process seriously, which is hard to say for any kid her age - but I think she is taking it as seriously as she knows how. She's my girl, I just love her so much. She's a keeper!

All the little moments, all the big milestones, they all add up. Someday, now, and forever, I want to be able to remember them. So I write them in baby books, or I post them here. I want these children to know how I felt about them at any given time. I want to remember what was happening in our lives. This is my record, these are my memories. I am happy to share them if you have a moment or two. Baby stories (whether your baby is 2 months or 25 years) are my favorite, if you want to share...

A Girl, a March, and a Choice

Kenzie and Liz @ the Armory - photo by Jamie Laubacher

My third oldest daughter, Mackenzie made her first trip to Washington D.C. this week to participate in the March For Life. My Kenzie-girl is a homebody. A mama's girl, through and through. Though she is 13, nearly 14, she still has a hard time being away from me - and I think she has plenty of time to get used to the idea of being away, so I don't push it.

Praying in front of the 1st Planned Parenthood in the US

But, she wanted to make this trip. The March has always been important in our household, her older sisters have always, always been activists for Life. I am proud of them in so many ways, but their deeply held belief and understanding that life is precious is what I am most proud of, truly. Meg and Liz have talked friends out of abortions, they have protested in front of Planned Parenthood, they have done baby and maternity drives for our local Crisis Pregnancy Center,  they have Marched for Life. They walked from Denver, Colorado to Omaha, Nebraska with Crossroads, speaking at churches and youth groups along the way, and demonstrating their beliefs by praying in front of abortion clinics. And they are only 20 years old. I hope/pray/believe that it will be this generation that makes our nation see that abortion is a travesty. These kids are so full of life, and so sure that they can make the difference. I want so much to believe that they can do it.

Liz and Meg while in Denver with Crossroads

My Kenzie, a little scared and a lot nervous, boarded a bus with a bunch of strangers, a few folks from our parish, and her big sister, Elizabeth. She had told Elizabeth that she didn't need her to take care of her, that she could handle herself, but in the end, she was so happy to have her sister make sure she was staying with the group, as she kept getting pushed back away from everyone during the March. I am so proud of her, for overcoming her fear and nervousness to travel far from home, walk all day in the freezing cold, to be a voice for those who have no voice. She is brave, and strong. She made the choice to March. And someday, like her big sisters, she will talk a friend into giving her child life. She will help a mother with a crisis pregnancy. She will speak out for the unborn. She will stand in front of a 'clinic' and pray. Because it's a fight, a struggle to change the hearts of our law makers, and of those who seek to ensure that abortion -  the deliberate taking of a human life, the life of one's own child, remains legal  - and make them see what they are doing is wrong. More than wrong, I believe it is the greatest evil of our generation. They often say that the youth is the future of our nation. Never before has this been more true. I hope my children, and the millions of other young people who see abortion for what it is, fight for the overturning of Roe v. Wade. I hope they continue to March, until there is no longer a need...

This momma for life has some very interesting stats on how under reported this event is - it's staggering.

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011!

Another year gone. My kids are taller, we are older, hopefully, a year wiser. 2010 was not the perfect year, but then, I could not name a single year that was perfect. 2010 was the year our baby turned 1 year old. It was the year our oldests turned 20. It was a year of medical miracles, and of such great sadness as we watched our Nain just deteriorate due to a brain bleed. It was a year when I had to adjust to the idea that my parents are not 30 years old, and have some medical issues, and that my grandmother, whom I never realized how much I loved, is never going to be that same grandmother again. Those were hard lessons, most gave some precious insight, and thankfully, some wonderful outcomes.

2010 brought a lot of political angst, as a liberal administration rammed as much through Congress and by executive order as possible. It also held a light at the end of the tunnel for those of us who prefer things to be run in a more Conservative, constitutionalist way.

2010 also brought some marvelous successes for my husband  - he works so hard at his job and this year brought some recognition of that, and for that we are so grateful.

This little blog turned a year old this year, in October, and while I have not been able to keep up with it as I would like, it has given me a place to vent, brag, and wax poetic on whatever happened to be on my mind. Happily, more than a few people from all over the world read this little blog, and that tickles me more than a little, so I am grateful for that, too.

2010 had it's joys, like the births of two nephews, our little burrito, Petey, and Spencerific. And two little great-nieces, Bella and Brooklyn, to boot. Such beautiful babies, and though I love babies so much, when I visited their mamas in the hospital, I did NOT have an overwhelming desire to tuck them into my coat and make off with them, which is a sign, I think, that my time of having babies is done, and we are ready to move on to the next phase in life. I think I'll always be wistful over newborns, but more often than not this year, I have been grateful when I hear a baby cry, that it was not my job to do something about it. 

2010 was such a good year, in so many ways, we caught our stride with school, finally, in November and I think the decision to use an online school was the right one for us. My husband and I have been married for 15 years this year, and together for 16. We seem to have hit a new stride, too. Renewed love and gratitude for each other, as we have sadly watched a marriage or two fall apart. It's almost like a second, or third wind, and it's been lovely being in love with someone for so long. I look forward to 2011, and the 40 years or so after that, God willing.

I pray that 2011 with be as kind, and as joyful. I will never pray that trials pass us over, but that feel safe in the knowledge that God will never give us what we cannot handle. So, thank you, 2010, for your joys, and yes, even your sorrows, as the sorrows have taught me so well. Welcome, 2011, I look forward to the lessons you have in store for me.

Christmas Card Guilt

We have been receiving beautiful Christmas cards for weeks now. I have a thing about Christmas cards. I love doing them. I always have a photo taken of the kiddos just for this purpose. I get religious cards, and even buy the Madonna and Child stamps,  and get a really good pen, so that everything is "just so". I wait until the kids are in bed, and then I turn on one of the silly Lifetime Christmas movies and write out my cards. It's a ritual. It takes a few hours, and more than a few dollars, but I love staying in touch with people, even if it's only once a year.

I didn't do them this year. Between lack of time, money, and availability of children for a photo, it just wasn't going to happen. I feel guilt. Tremendous guilt. My husband didn't even blink, he thought it was just fine to not send out cards. I can't even bring myself to hang the ones we have gotten because I feel like I don't deserve them when I didn't send any out. I know that is pretty silly, since they are here and all, but the whole not sending cards thing is not sitting well with me. I don't know why I feel so much guilt over it, or the fact that I am not baking a lot this year, or that we have trimmed everything back so far that I feel like a big, fat GRINCH. The cards were simply the first thing to go, but they are such a big part of the season. I love sending them almost as much as I love getting them. So, if you sent me a card, and I didn't send you one back, please forgive me. I still love you and your family! I don't want to be rude,  and it was necessary, but still...I FEEL  SO RUDE. Ugh. Just another version of the feminine guilt we all tote around with us I suppose.

So, did you send cards out this year? If you chose not to, are you feeling the guilt I am feeling, or did you make the cut without batting an eye?

Helping Littles Understand the True Meaning of Christmas

Because we have always home schooled these little kids, I think I have assumed that they just absorb what I have actively taught my older children. This is especially true when it comes to matters of faith. Prayers that we have always said, tend to get passed from one child to the next with very little active planning on my part. They are part of our day, so they are taught repeatedly, without my ever sitting down with a child to have them memorize the prayer. This year I wanted to really impart to them what Christmas is all about. I want them to experience not just the wonder that comes from Santa and the commercial Christmas season, but the hope, expectation, delight and love that comes from the real Christmas story. I wanted them to think of angels and stars, and of the Savior born in Bethlehem. I want them to think of the little drummer boy, who had no gift to give, and so he played his drum for Him.

So this year we have started a new tradition. For each "little" goodness or kind act the children perform, they will get a bright star to hang, with the goodness written on it. These stars will be displayed all through Advent, and will be their gift to the Savior on His birthday.

My sister started this with her kids this year, and my Kolbe loved it so much that he wanted to do it, too. So far, he has offered the most stars for Jesus' birthday. Even my wee small Benji has taken to doing small jobs or sharing his toys with Yeb to be able to hang another star. I'm not sure he understands it all, but he does understand that you have to do a goodness to get a star. He'll even tell you that all the stars are for Jesus' birthday.

My sweet Jenna, always one to offer to help, or do  a job without being told, should have far more stars up there. I need to watch her for a few days, and surprise her with the stars, even when she doesn't ask for them to be displayed. She knows that God knows what is in her heart, so I think she doesn't need to see them up there, but will be pleased that I noticed how much she really does for others.

We're just getting started with this new tradition, but I already see that it has changed how the kids look at Christmas. Kolbe asked me today how many more days there were until Christmas. A typical question. I saw him counting the days on the calendar, and heard him tell Luke that he thinks he can get a bunch more stars for Jesus with the time left. He is so excited! Jonah wants to try and beat him, because it has to be a competition, you know. Until he finds his DSi. Ah, they are all so different, and so dear, in their own ways. My baby is just old enough to rip the stars down, and the ornaments off the trees, but he is precious in God's eyes, and in mine. I can't wait to see what he makes of Christmas morning!

It's Christmastime...

We wrote and mailed our Santa letters, and my small ones were so thrilled when Santa wrote back, himself, on special Santa stationery, postmarked at the North Pole. This delighted our 8 year old, Kolbe, who being homeschooled, still believes, but, being 8, has started to question. These lovely letters and a special video from the Portable North Pole TV really lit up his imagination and the twinkle in his eyes, and that special belief is still alive in his heart. Even our 10 year old, Jenna still believes so fully that she sent her Santa letter without even telling me what was in it. Thankfully, a helpful elf alerted me to what she had asked for, and so she will not be disappointed Christmas morning.

But, it's Christmas, and with it comes the flurry of activity that  makes every day tasks seem burdensome. All I want to do is bake and make candy and ornaments and paint stuff with my kids. I don't want to do school, or work, or anything I am supposed to do, and I imagine most other people are feeling the same way. I want to stop and savor the wonder. I want to watch my little Luke get up and look for snow every morning and clap and jump up and down when he spots a few flakes fluttering to the ground.


I want to watch Jonah and Kolbe drag out all the snow gear and help their brothers layer it all on so they can go outside and roll around in the 6 or so inches of snow that are out there, just because it is so darn exciting that it's that time of year again. My kids are snow babies, rather than water babies. They will be outside everyday, playing in whatever form of precipitation God offers them from now until it hits 75 degrees again. Then they will tell me it's too hot to go outside.

I want to shop and wrap and plan the perfect gifts. It'll soon be time when I have to do those things, but for now, we have to buckle down, do school, get our work done, keep the house straight, and wait anxiously for the two delicious weeks when we don't have to do a lick of school, and my husband and I will both be off work for a little while. We can bake with the cousins and chat with old friends. Revel in the joy of time well spent doing nothing whatsoever.

The Ordinary Days...

It's been a while since I've posted. I'm not really sure why. Life gets busy, I guess, and I have not really had time to let my usually overly flowery thoughts roll through my brain. School has been overwhelming, been doing some other things that take up my time. And for some reason, I just don't seem to be in a writing mode. Even regular writing that I do for work, or whatever is taking me more time - I don't really know why. Writer's block? I don't know that I write often enough to develop writer's block, but I just don't seem to be able to generate any interesting or new thoughts on anything.

So, since it has been so long, I'll just fill you in on what's been happening around here instead. I am not really one who wants to write a whole blog post about the daily happenings, I tend to think that is what Facebook and Twitter are for, and I generally use those outlets pretty regularly. We've been doing school (religiously - which is new for us), getting our Kolbe ready to make his First Reconciliation and First Holy Communion,  Mackenzie is studying and preparing to be Confirmed in the Spring.

All the Jeffery Girl Cousins

We hosted Thanksgiving this year for Doug's side of the family. Thanksgiving was truly a lovely day, so much family gathered around, happy and healthy and so, so blessed. There are many children on both sides of our family, and I feel so thankful that our families truly embrace the gift of children and cherish each and every one. We have great-nieces now, five of them, to be exact. I remember when the nieces were just young girls themselves. Now they are grown, beautiful wives and mothers.

We also had dinner at my parents' house later, surrounded by the 18 children, 2 teenagers. We had lots of food, fun, and the company of my brother and sisters and their spouses just makes everything perfect. I am lucky that my siblings all married wonderful people. You always hear how so many families don't get along and have a hard time over the holidays. I am so thankful that we are blessed with a mostly harmonious family. Everyone squabbles from time to time, but we all truly love each other. It's always fun to be together - and our kids are growing up feeling like extra-special siblings rather that cousins who don't get to see much of each other. Another thing to be thankful for!

My sister's new baby, Spencer, was baptized on Saturday, so we went to Mass and then a big dinner for little Spencer right afterward, with most of the cousins switching houses and spending the night with cousins. So much fun! We finished the weekend off by making homemade pizza and decorating our tree and getting the rest of the house ready for Christmas. The girls were home, and I was grateful for one more year when we had all of the kids under one roof for this ritual. I have to admit that I hate the thought that they won't always be here to help us decorate the tree, so, in an effort to make sure we always have this special day, we have told them that we will always put up the tree the Sunday after Thanksgiving, and when they are married, that will be OUR Thanksgiving. We'll do the turkey, and put up the tree. That way they don't have to feel pressured to be ONE MORE place on Thanksgiving, and we are creating our own tradition. With nine children, I think we are going to have to create some of our own holidays in order to have all of our children in the same place at the same time. We can't expect nine families to do that on the regular holidays. I hope this takes the pressure off them and makes them want to come celebrate with us. We plan to do the same thing with Christmas. I hope one of them will let us come watch their babies open presents Christmas morning!

So, that is my update, I hope to have something interesting to offer soon, I feel so scattered, I can't collect my thoughts into a cohesive post! I hope you are all having a Blessed Advent season!